Surviving Incest

For survivors of incest and other forms of childhood sexual abuse

About Me

I wish I didn't have to acknowledge what happened to me.  For a long time, I tried to deny it.  When that didn't work, I began my journey of hope and healing.  After hard work with two wonderful pastoral counselors, I have found comfort in my own skin and have accepted my past as something that happened to me -- something that I did nothing to deserve.  And, my past does not have to define who I am.  What happened to me is this:  I experienced almost fourteen years of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse at the hands of my maternal grandfather.

I am forty-seven years old.  Today I am happily married to the greatest man in the world, proud mother to two terrific children, and gainfully employed.  I am comfortable in my own skin; I like who I am.  I understand that I have choices about lots of things.  I understand that those who truly love me really do care about what I think, what I feel, and what I want. 

The good parts haven't always been true.  For years, I assumed I was an awful, terrible, bad person who simply fooled everyone into believing I was good.  I lived in constant fear of being "found out" for the despicable person my grandfather had taught me I was.  Even my successes were colored by the knowledge that my world would fall apart as soon as someone figured out the truth about me.  I was that way because I was subjected to sexual, physical, and emotional abuse at the hands of my maternal grandfather from the age of two until three months after my sixteenth birthday.

I tried to ignore the horrid details of my past for about twenty years.  That wasn't working.  Finally, I confided some minor details to a friend.  He referred me to a pastoral counselor with whom he had also worked.  She specialized in adults molested as children (AMAC).  That was the beginning of a ten-year journey to comprehend the real truth about what had happened to me and what it meant.

It hasn't been easy.  There were many days when I truly wished I had never begun trying to believe that I might be a good person or that the abuse was not my fault.  With that faithful, gentle, persistent guidance of two pastoral counselors, constant support from my husband, and a sometimes shaky hope that it would be better, I have walked the hard path of healing.  My journey is not over, but I have now caught sight of how great the future ... and the now ... can be.

If you're facing a similar journey, hang in there.  It will get better.

This site isn't really about me, though.  If you're interested, you can read more about me on the About Me page.  This site is here for you.  Please explore it.  You can read my blog (updated daily) using the My Blog link.  You can find more information about my book, My Journey: Experiencing the Abuse, Navigating the Aftermath, Finding Hope and Healing.  You can see my plans for various projects.  You can read and subscribe to my monthly newsletter.  You can read my thoughts on talk therapy.  Read chapter 1 of my book here.

Please, reach out to someone.  Read someone's story.  Find a way to connect. Send me e-mail. You are not alone.

(c) 2007 by SCW